


late bloomers

by goldensteps



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: All Girls Umbrella Academy, Hargreeves Children, Puberty, all girls umbrella academy au, fem hargreeves children, fem klaus hargreeves, fem!klaus hargreeves, hargreeves kids getting to be kids, hargreeves sisters, puberty is a bitch lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 19:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17904452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldensteps/pseuds/goldensteps
Summary: “Yeah, you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me tits, so.”________“I, Klaus ‘Number Four’ Hargreeves, hereby announce the end of my days as the titless wonder,” she declares as her sisters groan. “Say goodbye to your dearest darlingest sister, for the Klaus you once knew will soon be no more.” She drops to one knee and clutches her chest dramatically. “I henceforth renounce my flat-chested ways, for when you next see me, your favorite housemate, I shall be a busty-”“Klaus, just lick the fucking battery already,” Luther cuts her off(all-girls umbrella academy au !!! takes place when they r babies, before ben dies and five leaves, happy sister times all around)





	late bloomers

**Author's Note:**

> for lizzord and anair <3

_“Yeah, you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me tits, so.”_

___

 

“You’re bullshitting me.” Klaus says

Diego grins and crosses her arms, leaning against the doorframe. It’s Saturday, and they’re allowed to be out of uniform. (“Playclothes,” Mom and Dad call them, as if wearing anything other than a blazer in your own fucking house is somehow out of the ordinary.) The Hargreeves sisters are congregated in Klaus’s room, and Diego is wearing a black turtleneck, camo pants, and her insufferably snarky big-sister-smirk. The fact that they were all born on the same goddamn day doesn’t seem to matter, because when The Boob Fairy visited the Hargreeves residence, she apparently took it upon herself to smack Diego _wicked_ hard and simply forgo extending that courtesy to anyone else.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not, but there’s only one way to find out, huh Klaussie?”

“Don’t call me that, asshole” she says, lobbing a pillow at her sister.

_“Hey.”_ Luther warns from her perch across the room, always The Responsible One.

Diego dodges and snickers, raising her hands in defeat.

“Look, I’m not forcing you to do anything here. If you wanna keep those mosquito bites the rest of your life, that’s your issue.”

Klaus stares at the battery contemplatively. Ben joins her on the bed, gently taking her hand and looking her in the eyes.

“Don’t do it,” she whispers urgently.

“Sounds like somebody’s chickennn” Diego taunts, flailing her arms and making squaking noises. 

“Are you done making an ass of yourself yet, because I have other places to be,” Five chimes in, rolling her eyes. “There’s honestly no way any of you think this could work, right?”

Allison shrugs, pinning Vanya’s bangs back and pulling out a tube of mascara. She’s makeover obsessed, and V is the only one too polite to run the other direction when Allison’s coming at her with the purple eyeshadow. “I mean, if you think about it, there’s honestly no way we should be able to do anything that we do, and yet.”  
(Allison wants boobs more than anybody. Klaus overheard her saying it to herself in the mirror the other day. “I heard a rumor you have a C cup.” It hadn’t worked.)

Diego huffs and maneuvers through the girls sprawled across the floor, wedging herself between Klaus and Ben and pulling Klaus in close, as if sharing a secret. Her breath smells like tangerine gum.

“Listen Klaus. This is how I got mine. Academy honor” she says, holding up her fingers in a salute.” Her eyes are mischievous, crinkled with a smirk, sparkling with a dare. And Klaus is pretty sure she’s full of shit, but she’s never been one to back down from a dare. 

“ _Fine_ ” She whines, clutching the battery and standing up on her bed 

“I, Klaus ‘Number Four’ Hargreeves, hereby announce the end of my days as the titless wonder,” she declares as her sisters groan. “Say goodbye to your dearest darlingest sister, for the Klaus you once knew will soon be no more.” She drops to one knee and clutches her chest dramatically. “I henceforth renounce my flat-chested ways, for when you next see me, your favorite housemate, I shall be a busty-”

“Klaus, just lick the fucking battery already,” Luther cuts her off

“Okay, okay, jeez,” Klaus says, standing back up, “tough crowd I guess.”

Luther rolls her eyes and Klaus looks around at her sisters, six sets of eyes trained on her, Vanya blinking nervously. 

“Okay,” she says again, screwing her eyes shut, “Here goes nothin…”

The shock surprises her more than anything, and she lets out a shriek, opening her eyes and immediately looking down. Her chest is flat as ever, and her sisters are cracking up, Diego doubled over and wheezing, Allison clutching her gut, even Vanya and Ben giggling from behind their hands, shoulders shaking silently.

“Diego you absolute bitch!” she yells, laughing despite herself and jumping on her sister’s back. Diego thrashes around wildly, trying to shake her off. Klaus hooks one arm around her neck and digs her other fingers into Diego’s armpit. Diego shrieks and they topple to the floor. “Dogpile!” someone yells, and the seven Hargreeves sisters are jumbled tangle of limbs and laughs and screaming, Allison screeching that if she gets tickled she will absolutely pee herself, Ben yelling that they’d better quit before someone gets hurt, Five and Luther insisting that this is asinine but joining anyway, and Vanya standing off to the side a bit but grinning wider than ever, happy to be part of something. And they’re young and happy and _kids_ , for once in their fucking lives they feel like kids.

“CHILDREN.” Reginald barks from the doorway, because he apparently detected that there might just be fun occuring in his home, because of course this couldn’t last. 

The girls jump up and fall in line, smiles immediately dropping, spines straightening to “attention,” the life and light the room held only a moment ago getting drained out in an instant.

“What on earth was that infernal racket?”

Luther steps forward, staring straight ahead.

“Recreation in the form of horseplay, sir,” she states. “It won’t happen again.”

Dad stares at her, eyes cold and dark from behind the monocle. Klaus holds her breath.

“See to it that it doesn’t, Number One. That’s enough recreation for today, I expect to see each of you dressed and ready for further training in the parlor in fifteen minutes.”

“Yes sir.”

Reginald turns to leave, stopping just short of the doorway

“Oh, and Number Four?”

Klaus’s head snaps up. 

“Yes sir?”

“That tackle was rather scrappy of you, Number Four. I expect to see more of that fierceness during lessons, you understand?” and Klaus could almost swear she sees the hint of a smile cross his lips.

“Yes sir.”

He closes the door behind him, and the girls relax. The silence is awkward and nearly suffocating, until Alison breaks it:

“We still have fifteen minutes. Maybe Klaus didn’t do it right. I wanna try.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u so so much for reading!!! kudos and/or comments make my entire day, and i try to reply to everyone!!! all my love to y'all!!!!!!


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